Area "Person" Has Man Card Revoked

San Francisco:  Bruce Nutter was shocked to learn yesterday morning that his man card was being revoked.  Apparently the 44 year old Nutter has never seen any of the movies from the Godfather trilogy.  "That just cannot happen!" claimed Jake Johnson from the Organization of Masculinity.  "We make exceptions for pre-teen boys whose parents are opposed to movie violence, and Italian Americans who do not think this is an accurate portrayal of the Mafia.  But to be 44 years old and never see any of them, we had to move."

The process involved in removing the card is secret, but we were told that Nutter was taken to an undisclosed location for the removal.  "I never knew that card was a real thing!" claims Nutter, "My buddies used to tease me about it when I would hold my girlfriend's purse while she shopped for beaded collars for our Bichon Frise, Tinkerbell.  I didn't know they could actually do it!"

Mr. Johnson, who insisted that we call him Jake, stated that Nutter had been on the watch list for years.  "He almost lost it back when we learned that he could pronounce the breed of that overgrown fluffy white rat of theirs.  I, naturally, cannot pronounce it."  When this reporter tried to be helpful and said, "Bee Shon Free Z..."  Mr. Johnso...I mean Jake, raised an eyebrow and asked if I still had tassels on the handle bars of my bike.  I do not...as of today.

Nutter's case is pending appeal but it didn't look good when the reason given for being late to the court was, "I had to go get product for my hair."  Following a failed appeal Nutter will be given the opportunity to become re-educated.  "We are beyond just watching the dang movies now!  This person needs to go through our intensive training system."  Jake refused to tell us the details involved with getting reinstated, and then he covered one nostril and cleared the other, in a manly way.

Do not worry, if re-education does not work there are careers where Nutter would fit in.  Jake concluded. "People have already changed the names to mailperson, waitperson, and tons more for a person like Bruce."